And just as my luck was the last time, the nurse couldn't hit the vein in one go so I had to endure multiple insertions again. The insertions themselves weren't all that bad, I can tolerate that kind of pain, but what's troubling is when the chemo drug starts flowing in and starts hitting the damaged veins. It hurts so much it's difficult to describe. It's like cramping and tingling and fatigue and muscle pain and weakness and skin sensitivity and numbness and goosebumps all lumped into one. And the sad part is I still feel it now that I'm on my 7th day.
Unfortunately, my body has not cooperated as well as I hoped it would this week. The past three cycles went by without any major dramas but this one has been a little worse. I have been battling nausea, diarrhea, and the effects of peripheral neuropathy the whole week - the worst of which is the taste disturbances. I so miss eating and enjoying my food. Now, every meal is a struggle. Every food I put in my mouth tastes and feels like I'm chewing lard. Food that are baked or boiled feels no different to fried stuff. The spicy food which used to help before now tastes just like spicy lard. Even Earl Grey tea which was my go-to drink now tastes no better than just plain fatty tea - if there's even such a thing.Consequently, I also had my first real fit of panic since I started chemotherapy. Happened last Saturday when I was exercising at the park. I inhaled and caught a cold breeze which quickly locked my throat, as it normally would if I drank anything cold. However, it locked more than it usually would that I started gasping for air. My throat became so blocked that I could not inhale nor exhale anymore. I could hear myself honking loudly like a sea lion as I tried forcing myself to breathe. Thankfully my throat settled after a few seconds and several loud honks. When I turned around there were a bunch of people already coming my way to help, one of them a doctor, fortunately.
Now I lie here on the bed waiting for a dose of strength to come upon me; so I can stand up and have my lunch. Coz I'm really hungry. The only consolation I have is this cute little girl keeping me company.
